It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
