I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
