I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
