I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
