Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
