11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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