lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
