Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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