I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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