my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
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