I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
The police scanner is talking about you again....
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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