Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
