bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
