Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
