So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
