i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
