No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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