Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
