Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
