Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
