I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
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She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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