There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Bring me that man meat
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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