She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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