oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize