why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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