Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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