Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize