The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
