U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
