I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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