Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
