I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
