I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
im holly from the hills drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick has a subreddit
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize