lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
