i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
wow bdsm is so cute
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
