trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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