3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
