i just wanna soil my oats bro
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize