don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
