return my video game
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
