After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
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