wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize