I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize