she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
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All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
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That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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