It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I would ride that face into the sunset
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