My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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