The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The air taste purple.
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