ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
