U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
