: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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