he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
