And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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