Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
