Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
