I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
