ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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