did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
