Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
