My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
