Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm like, not good at living.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
