I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
