she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
