wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
