Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
