Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
