I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
