C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
