I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like giving head to a cactus.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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