ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
