guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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