I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
